ESSENCE Announces the Five Finalists of the 'ESSENCE It Girl' Contest

26 Apr 2010 13:00 Africa/Lagos



ESSENCE Announces the Five Finalists of the 'ESSENCE It Girl' Contest: Log On to Essence.com Today to Vote for Your Favorite Model to Win

ALSO, VIEWERS CAN LOG ON TO ESSENCE.COM BEGINNING ON MAY 5TH FOR THE LAUNCH OF THE "MAKING OF AN IT GIRL" WEB SERIES TO WATCH FINALISTS COMPETE DURING MODELING BOOT CAMP FOR THE GRAND PRIZE!

NEW YORK, April 26 /PRNewswire/ -- The judges have spoken! Today, ESSENCE and Elite Model Management proudly announce the five finalists for its national "ESSENCE It Girl" model search contest. In February, ESSENCE and Elite Model Management kicked off its nationwide search for the new African-American "It" model in an effort to address the lack of diversity on the runways. An expert panel of judges--comprised of ESSENCE editors, Elite managers and fashion industry VIPs--evaluated entrants from three live model castings held in Atlanta, Los Angeles and New York, as well as from online submissions to www.essence.com/itgirl. Now, five model hopefuls have been selected and are in the running for the ultimate grand prize: the chance to be featured in the September 2010 Fall Fashion issue of ESSENCE magazine, and to receive a one-year contract with Elite Model Management. The winner will be announced in May.

The five finalists are below (photos available upon request):
-- Ashley, 19, Atlanta
-- Amanda, 15, Utah
-- Britt, 15, New York
-- Brittiany, 16, Texas
-- Nataya, 20, Connecticut

"ESSENCE is excited to announce the five finalists of the 'ESSENCE It Girl' contest," said Emil Wilbekin, managing editor, Essence.com. "Each of these finalists had a certain special quality that stood out from the rest of the model hopefuls. We want viewers to log on to Essence.com to watch each of the finalists compete for the grand prize during our various modeling boot camp challenges. With your help, we will move closer to finding our 'It Girl!'"


Each of the five finalists will be flown to New York City for a special modeling boot camp, which will be documented for the Making of an It Girl web series that will debut exclusively on Essence.com beginning on May 5. During the modeling boot camp, each finalist will be asked to participate in a variety of tasks--including wardrobe challenges; runway coaching sessions; yoga workouts and more. The finalists will also participate in "fireside chats" with industry insiders such as: celebrity fashion stylist June Ambrose; celebrity hairstylist Ursula Stephens; fashion stylist Wouri Vice; make-up artist Oslyn Holder; model Damaris Lewis and others. Essence.com viewers can also go online to vote for their favorite model, and to see highlights from each of the live model castings where entrants were evaluated by judges including Essence.com managing editor Emil Wilbekin; Essence.com beauty editor Tia Williams; legendary model agent Bethann Hardison; Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes; actress Malinda Williams; agents Attienette Azille and Calvin Wilson of Elite Model Management and more.


For more information and to vote for your favorite model, visit www.essence.com/itgirl. ESSENCE It Girl promotional partners include The Gershwin Hotel and Professional Services Firm Travel, LLC (in association with Valerie Wilson Travel, Inc.).


About Essence Communications Inc.:
Essence Communications Inc. (ECI) is the leading media and communications company dedicated to African-American women. With a multi-platform presence in publishing, live events, and online, the Essence brand is "Where Black Women Come First". The company's flagship publication, ESSENCE magazine, is the preeminent lifestyle magazine for African-American women; generating brand extensions such as the Essence Music Festival, the ESSENCE Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon, Window on Our Women (WOW I & II) and Smart Beauty I, II & III consumer insights, the Essence Book Club, Essence.com, and ventures in digital media (mobile, television and VOD). For 40 years, ESSENCE, which has a brand reach of over 8 million, has been the leading source of cutting-edge information relating to every area of African-American women's lives. Additional information about ECI and ESSENCE is available at essence.com.
Source: ESSENCE Magazine

CONTACT: Dana Baxter, +1-212-522-1634, dbaxter@essence.com, or Sheila
Harris, +1-212-522-1089, sharris@essence.com, both of ESSENCE
Web Site: http://www.essence.com/

Releases displayed in Africa/Lagos time
26 Apr 2010
17:00	Picture Perfect: Photography Competition Captures the Essence of Michigan for a One-of-a-Kind Book
13:00	ESSENCE Announces the Five Finalists of the 'ESSENCE It Girl' Contest: Log On to Essence.com Today to Vote for Your Favorite Model to Win
10:10	One Hundred Fifty Experienced Mothers Offer Young Moms Sage Advice Just in Time for Mother's Day
22 Apr 2010
20:04	ESSENCE Relationships Editor Demetria Lucas Shares Her Critical Response To Last Night's ABC Nightline Segment: 'Why Can't A Successful Black Woman Find A Man?'

Zoë Saldaña is the April Beauty on Essence Magazine

Hollywood screen beauty Zoë Saldaña is glowing on the April cover of Essence magazine. She talks about power, sex and guilty pleasures.

She is ecstatic about sex as she enthused excitedly:
"Love it, love it, love it – can't live without it! I love sex. I love skin. I don't believe the body is something hide."

Well, she must be having regular dose of sex since she has been dating Keith Britton for the past ten years.

Lucky guy to be making sweet love to such a hot babe.



Look at her looking so sexy in the hot red dress

The Real Girlfriend

She is honest, but may not be Miss Perfect.
She will tell you the truth no matter what lies others tell you.
She does not tolerate nonsense.
She appreciates you and encourages you to be the best in your field.
She appreciates every gift you give her and also gives you too.
She respects you and your family and she is very proud of you.
She is The Virtuous Woman - Proverbs 31:10-31 and will make a good life partner.

She is the real deal.

Junket interview with Janet Jackson and Tyler Perry on "Why Did I Get Married Too?"

Why Did I Get Married Too?

I have not seen Tyler Perry’s latest film Why Did I Get Married Too?, but it is attracting so much buzz online and offline since the weekend opening on April 2. It was second at the box office after the Clash of the Titans, grossing over $30,150,000 from 2155 theatres.

The romantic black comedy is all about relationships continued from the Why Did I Get Married? (2007).

Four American couples reunite for their annual vacation in the Bahamas and each couple did not come with only their luggage, but also with lots of baggage of their matrimonial ups and downs, pluses and minuses.

The movie is star studded with Janet Jackson who reprised her role as Patricia, Jill Scott who reprised the role of Sheila, Malik Yoba and the legendary Louis Gossett Jr and Cicely Tyson who is one of the greatest actresses of all time, and lest I forget, as usual Tyler Perry himself acted a major role as Terry.

~ By Ekenyerengozi Michael Chima

The Story

Gathered together in the Bahamas for their annual one-week reunion, four close couples eagerly reconnect, sharing news about their lives and relationships. But their intimate week in paradise is disrupted by the unexpected arrival of Sheila’s ex-husband, Mike, who hopes to break up her new marriage with Troy and win her back. The others soon realize they too are not immune to the challenges of commitment and fidelity. Angela doesn’t believe her husband, Marcus, can be faithful now that he’s a celebrity television newscaster. Dianne and Terry’s relationship is feeling the strain of raising children. And Patricia, a successful self-help psychologist, must finally reveal the deep flaws in her seemingly perfect marriage to Gavin. With their relationships hanging in the balance when they return home, each couple must choose between blame and forgiveness, doubt and faith, with life-altering consequences.

Usher's Newest Album 'Raymond v Raymond' is No. 1

7 Apr 2010 12:00 Africa/Lagos


Usher's Newest Album 'Raymond v Raymond' Bows at No. 1

No. 1 Pop, R&B/Hip-Hop and Digital Album in the U.S.


NEW YORK, April 7 /PRNewswire/ -- Five-time Grammy-winning artist Usher is back on top of the charts with his newest album Raymond v Raymond (LaFace/JIVE Label Group).

This week Usher's sixth studio offering is the No. 1 album in the U.S. Raymond v Raymond is No. 1 on Billboard's Top 200 Albums chart, the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums chart, and the Top Digital Albums chart. The album marks the Atlanta-based singer's third No. 1 debut on the Top 200 Albums chart and his fourth No. 1 debut on the R&B Albums chart. Additionally, fans are positively responding to burgeoning pop hit "OMG" featuring will.i.am. Within just one week of being available, "OMG" already ranks in the Top 10 on the Digital Singles chart.


Raymond v Raymond is also dominating international charts as the album impressively debuts in the Top 10 in Canada, Holland, Australia, Germany, Spain and Italy. The album is slated be released in the U.K. later this month, however, "OMG," has hit No. 2 on the U.K. iTunes chart and No. 8 on the national singles chart within two weeks of its release.
The album comes as the megastar singer tops U.S. video networks and radio airwaves with over 100 million in audience with four top chart-topping singles including "Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home),"(Click on links to stream) "Lil Freak," a duet with Nicki Minaj, "There Goes My Baby" and "OMG" featuring will.i.am.


In addition to the strong sales and promotional support, critics have embraced Raymond v Raymond: The Boston Herald describes the set as, "diverse and satisfying;" The Los Angeles Times asserts that Usher is "back in action," rating the album 3 out of 4 stars; and The Washington Post simply declares", everybody loves Raymond, ".
Following several high profile performances including Good Morning America and American Idol, Usher continues to promote the album and is slated to travel to Europe mid-April.


Source: Jive Records
CONTACT: Wendy Washington, Jive Label Group, +1-212-833-6886,
wendy.washington@somymusic.com
Web Site: http://www.jiverecords.com/

Our Footsteps Stray As Our Passions Sway In Lust

Our footsteps stray as our passions sway in lust.
The doors of fate swing to and fro as the bells of Time ring and as the bells ring and the doors swing, Time tells the truth of who we really are, for the best or for the worst.

The above words can do a lot to help and save people in our relationships if only they would be wise enough to think from their brains and not from their loins.

Personally, I feel sorry for humans who cannot control their inordinate affections and passions and have fallen into the pits of life in their lusts of the flesh. But as I have addressed years ago in Essence of Romance, humans ought to behave like humans and not like animals.

There is a difference between Animal Instinct and Human Instinct and that difference is our intelligence.
Our intelligence often depends on our conscience and wisdom; to know the right choice from the wrong choice.
All choices have consequences.
Our choices can make us or mar us.

Only fools would repeat the terrible mistakes of others when they know the grave consequences.

One Valentine's Day 9 years ago, I was with an Igbo Princess who was my Val. We were all alone and quite happy too. Then one of the models I managed came in and refused to leave. I took her into the study and politely told her that she must leave. She was a married woman and mother of five children. She insisted that I must make love to her, but I refused and she refused to leave until I decided to leave the house with my Val. I was furious, but she did not care. Days later, I decided to visit her family and meet with her husband. Her husband was a broken man and she was intimidating him. Then, I knew that she had little or no respect for him. That was why she was unfaithful. She told me later that she was forced to marry the man when she was only 15 and she had never been happy with him. But I scolded her that she was not honest, because if she was not happy, she would not have stayed to have five children for the husband.
I refused to sleep with her, but she must have found another victim to use for her consolation. Then I heard that she fell ill and became bedridden. Adultery is an abomination among the Igbos. In fact, we kill adulterers in our village till date.

If I could refuse the temptation to sleep with a married woman, then every man should be able to do so.
Real men know how to overcome temptations, trials and weaknesses.
A man without self-control is a man without guts.

Lust can be by force, but love is not by force.

You can force someone to sleep with you, but you cannot force anyone to love you.
Most guys and babes gamble that they can use sexual gratification to win the heart of someone.
Of course we can argue about the possibilities and probabilities of the chances for or against the weapon of sexual gratification.

If sexual gratification is the only way you can win someone, then when he or she loses interest in it, what is going to happen next?


A young lady I have known for decades came to me last month and asked for money to register for the Nigerian version of the popular High School Musical and I wanted to know if her boyfriend knew about it. She said that he would not allow her to go for the audition. So, she wanted me to support her without his knowledge. But I refused and told her to get his permission first. She tried to wind me into supporting her, but she failed and she stopped talking to me. Wow! I was glad I did not go along with her plan to disrespect her boyfriend.
This is how the temptations come in disguise.
Many babes deny that they have boyfriends in order to lure you into a fling, one night stand or even relationships. But please, beware of the grave consequences of being their partners in betrayal and infidelity.

A young man killed his girlfriend in Lagos last month, because he found out that she was sleeping with another guy.
Even a Lagos love-peddler stabbed and killed her regular customer for patronizing another love-peddler!
The unfortunate victims end up in the morgue and their assailants end up miserable in prison and haunted until their last days on earth,
If only they had known that lack of self control could ruin them for life.


In the United States of America, a jealous lover hired killers to murder a man who was sleeping with his girlfriend. They tied him up in a chair, cut off his manliness and stuffed it into his mouth before they shot him all over his body.
He lost his precious life with his precious dreams, because of messing around with what someone else treasured.

My ex-American girlfriend once mocked one celebrated African-American woman for messing around in her career and was now childless and husbandless. But others said:
“She slept her way to the top, and she is a great success today!”
Is she really a great success or a miserable one?
Do you want to guess?
She made more enemies than friends along the way.
She recalled her previous escapades with apologies and regrets.

I was not born yesterday. And my experiences in life are enough to prove what I have been addressing from the beginning.

Any relationship that gives you sleepless night is not worth it. No more, no less.
Any relationship that does not give you Peace and Respect is not worth it.

If you no longer love your lover or life partner, be bold and brave enough to say so and leave him or her, before having another relationship.

You should always review your relationship like having a medical checkup to find out and know if everything is still right or if anything is wrong.
Make amends to repair damages or call it quits. PERIOD.
It would be better, healthier and safer to part in peace than to part in pieces.

Trespassing the private property of another man or another woman is digging your own grave.

Our footsteps stray as our passions sway in lust until we are condemned and damned on Judgment Day.

Men Who Shave Regularly Have More Sex, Are More Confident and Are Generally More Satisfied

6 Apr 2010 13:03 Africa/Lagos



Shave More, Get More: New Research Finds Men Who Shave Regularly Have More Sex, Are More Confident and Are Generally More Satisfied.

Schick(R) Skin-dex Explores Shave Trends and Correlating Behaviors Nationally and Across Major U.S. Cities.

SHELTON, Conn., April 6 /PRNewswire/ --
Shave More According to the Schick Skin-dex survey, a national
Get More: research poll conducted by StrategyOne, men who shave
regularly (5 times a week or more) have twice as much sex
(15.5 vs. 7.8 times per month). They're also happier (89%
vs. 82%), more outgoing (41% vs. 32%), more social (42%
vs. 34%), more likely to report they are living their
dreams (76% vs. 64%) and more likely to report more
attractive significant others.

Material, The Skin-dex survey also shows a clear link between
Emotional and material, emotional and romantic satisfaction and the
Romantic frequency of men's shaves. In fact, men who shave five
Satisfaction: days a week or more are more confident, twice as likely to
be employed as those who shave two days a week and are
much less likely to live with their parents. On average,
they earn $15,100 more per year than infrequent shavers
and are more likely to own luxury items.

Women and According to the Skin-dex survey, women ranked "irritated
Shaving: skin" among the top three biggest turn-offs in a man --
right after body odor and dandruff. In fact, irritated
skin is more of a turn-off than baldness and gray hair.

Sixty-six percent of women associate men who shave
regularly with a variety of positive qualities, including
higher self awareness, deeper commitment and greater
comfort with themselves. Eighty-two percent report a
preference for cleanly shaven men and another 83% say it's
sexy when a man has a smooth touchable face. Additionally:
-- 76% say they love it when their man shaves
-- 76% agree a "cleanly shaven man turns me on"
-- 64% say when their man shaves, they just can't keep
their hands off of him
-- 78% would rather kiss a cleanly shaven man than a
scruffy man
-- 64% would rather have sex with a cleanly shaven man
than a scruffy one

Regional Men in Los Angeles and DC may have reason to celebrate
Differences: with these localities reporting the greatest number of
shaves per year (198). Philadelphians and Atlantans shave
the least, with only 161 shaves a year. Yet Los Angeles
men, along with Philly and New York men are the most
likely to report having a full beard. Most shaves by
region:

-- Los Angeles (198)
-- Washington, DC (198)
-- Dallas-Ft. Worth (192)
-- Chicago (192)
-- Boston (182)
-- Seattle (182)
-- New York (172)
-- Austin (166)
-- Atlanta (161)
-- Philadelphia (161)

Meanwhile, men in Dallas report the highest number of
soul-patches per capita (14%). Atlanta takes the sideburns
(27%) and goatee (32%) titles, while Boston and Washington
are the clean shave capitals (31% and 29% respectively).
Atlanta (26%), New York (24%), LA (24%) and Dallas (23%)
own the mustache crowns while Philadelphia (21%) New York
(19%) and LA (19%) are the most bearded cities.

Schick Hydro After years of development, Schick announces today that
Refreshes its revolutionary Schick Hydro razor is available for
Men's Shaves purchase nationwide. Schick Hydro razors combine many
first to market technologies like skin guards, innovative
skin protectors that smooth out skin between blade tips;
an advanced hydrating gel reservoir that lubricates
throughout the shave process; a convenient flip trimmer
(Schick Hydro 5 only); and an effortless ergonomic handle.
Officials say that these technologies combine to deliver
outstanding skin comfort, while providing one of the
closest shaves available. They also address the number one
reason men avoid shaving, irritation. Along with a new
line of Schick Hydro(TM) Shave Gels, Schick Hydro is a
complete skin comfort system that goes beyond hair removal
to actually care for men's skin.



Contacts:
Morgan Molinoff Melle Hock Eli Sevin
Edelman Edelman Edelman
212-704-8216 212-642-7793 212-642-7794
Morgan.molinoff@edelman.com melle.hock@edelman.com eli.sevin@edelman.com

Source: Schick

CONTACT: Morgan Molinoff, Edelman, +1-212-704-8216,
Morgan.molinoff@edelman.com; Melle Hock, Edelman, +1-212-642-7793,
melle.hock@edelman.com; or Eli Sevin, Edelman, +1-212-642-7794,
eli.sevin@edelman.com

Lands’ End Swimwear: It Suits You

Lands’ End Swimwear: It Suits You

From Sizes to Styles, Lands’ End Offers More Swimsuits For Every Body

DODGEVILLE, Wis., April 6, 2010 /PRNewswire/ — Whether it’s a revolution or simply a revelation, women have discovered they are wearing the wrong sizes when it comes to bras, jeans and now, swimsuits. In fact, according to a recent survey of more than 1,000 women conducted by Lands’ End®, eight out of ten surveyed (83 percent) confessed to having worn the wrong size swimsuit. They also believe other women wear the wrong size suit as well; 71 percent believe the majority of women wear the wrong size suit. This could explain why respondents have experienced swimsuit-sizing mishaps such as saggy bottoms (65 percent), cleavage overflow (58 percent), behind busting out/seat creep (56 percent) and muffin top (54 percent).



“With so many advances in swimsuit design, high-performance fabrics and a full range of available sizes, there is no reason why any woman should experience muffin top or saggy bottoms,” said Suzanne Bryant, vice president of design, Lands’ End. “At Lands’ End, we know it’s critically important to have a proper-fitting swimsuit so women can feel and look great on the beach or by the pool. As a result, we offer hundreds of styles that provide solutions for every shape with design details to fit and flatter. And, we offer a full range of sizes including regular, petite (short) and long (tall) torso, mastectomy, D-DDD cup sizes and plus sizes.”



Sizing Up Swimwear Options at Lands’ End
The survey also found more than half of respondents (54 percent) purchase swim bottoms in a size that is too big hoping for more coverage while a third (34 percent) have squeezed into a suit that is too small because a larger size was not available. It’s not surprising that women are compromising when it comes to finding their true size since an overwhelming majority of survey respondents (79 percent) stated they fell in love with a swimsuit style, but it was not available in their size.

“Women are not one size fits all especially when it comes to swimwear,” stated Bryant. “At Lands’ End, we offer a large variety of sizes in every swimsuit style and this year we have more options than ever before. In addition, we offer several collections of swim separates to help women mix and match sizes and styles.”

Swimwear Beyond the Numbers
According to Bryant, it’s more than a numbers game when it comes to finding a figure-flattering swimsuit. Body shape, style preference, color and pattern play a key role as well. Seven out of ten survey respondents agree and believe the biggest swimsuit mistake women make is purchasing the wrong style suit for their body shape. Bryant suggests using resources such as the Lands’ End body shape icons to easily search out swimsuits that are designed to flatter differing body shapes. This season, the company has introduced a new “circle” icon to the mix offering a total of five body shape icons: Inverted Triangle, Star, Triangle, Circle and Rectangle. The icons help women easily seek out swimwear to complement their proportions and specific body shapes.

Another consideration is color. This season’s preferences go beyond basic black. In fact, Deep Sea Blue (26 percent) ranked as the number one swimsuit color choice by survey respondents followed by Black (18 percent), Blackberry (18 percent), Mango Orange (12 percent), Brown (10 percent), Kelly Green (9 percent), Slate Gray (6 percent) and Yellow (1 percent).

When it comes to swimsuit silhouettes, the tankini still reigns. More than half (54 percent) will most likely purchase a tankini, followed by a one-piece (39 percent) and only 7 percent plan to purchase a bikini.

Shopping for Swimsuits
This season, seven out of ten women (70 percent) plan to purchase a new swimsuit and will do so in a variety of ways; by shopping in stores (79 percent), surfing the Internet (68 percent), shopping by catalog (46 percent) and looking through magazines (28 percent).

Women are really resourceful when it comes to shopping for swimwear,” said Bryant. “They tend to do their homework both online and offline and enjoy receiving expert advice.”

Women would love to turn to swimwear experts. The survey found 39 percent would select a swimwear designer to help them pick out a great swimsuit before their best friend (19 percent).

Lands’ End offers several ways to shop for swimsuits. The company offers advice from dedicated Swim Fit Experts that can either chat online at www.landsend.com or on the phone at 1-800-675-4853. A variety of Lands’ End swimsuit styles can also be found online at www.landsend.com or at the 294 Lands’ End Shop at Sears locations.

Additional Survey Highlights Include:

Slather on the Lotion – In addition to sunblock, women are slathering on moisturizer. When asked what women do to get ready for swim season, 80 percent moisturize their skin.

Sizing Up Men – Women don’t believe men buy the wrong swimsuit size (67 percent).
In a Crunch – More than half of women (53 percent) do stomach crunches to get ready to wear a swimsuit.

Tune in to the Tunic – 53 percent of those surveyed believe a Tunic Cover-up is the most important swimwear accessory.

Call the Pros – Almost nine out of ten survey respondents (89 percent) would love a complimentary professional swimsuit fitting to help them find their ideal size.
Hands to Toes – When getting ready for swimsuit season two-thirds (66 percent) of women get a manicure and pedicure.

Take a Wild Guess – While 12 percent of survey respondents stated they “take a wild guess” at their swimsuit size, 47 percent base it on their bra or dress size.
Mixed Up – More than seven out of ten women have worn the wrong swim top or bottom size because they were not sold as mix-and-match separates.
How it Measures – Two-thirds (66 percent) of women have never taken their measurements with 43 percent stating they don’t know how to do so.


About Lands’ End

Lands’ End® is one of the world’s largest retailers of clothing for the family. In addition, Lands’ End offers an innovative collection of fine quality goods for the home. Lands’ End swim can be purchased online at www.landsend.com, by calling 1-800-800-5800, and by visiting the Lands’ End Shop at Sears. Lands’ End is a proud member of Sears Holdings Corporation (NASDAQ: SHLD). And, all high-quality Lands’ End merchandise is Guaranteed. Period.®

Media Contact:
Molly Hawkins
Lands' End
608-935-6089
molly.hawkins@landsend.com

Shine, Jesus, Shine

HAPPY EASTER WITH ALL MY LOVE IN JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND MESSIAH!

Shine, Jesus, Shine


Lord the Light or Your Love is shining,
In the midst of the darkness shining,
Jesus light of the world shine upon us,
Set us free by the truth You now bring us,
Shine on me. Shine on me.

Shine Jesus shine
Fill this land with the Father's glory
Blaze, Spirit blaze,
Set our hearts on fire
Flow, river flow
Flood the nations with grace and mercy
Send forth Your word
Lord and let there be light.

Lord I come to Your awesome presence,
From the shadows into Your radiance,
By the blood I may enter Your brightness,
Search me, try me, consume all my darkness,
Shine on me. Shine on me.

As we gaze on Your kindly brightness.
So our faces display Your likeness.
Ever changing from glory to glory,
Mirrored here may our lives tell Your story.
Shine on me. Shine on me.


~By Cliff Richard


HAPPY EASTER WITH ALL MY LOVE IN JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND MESSIAH!

World Cup Rules For Wives/Ladies/Girl Friends‏

Dear Sweetheart,

1. Between 11 June and 11 July 2010, you should read the sports
section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on
regarding the World of Soccer, and that way you will be able to join in
the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in
a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not
receiving any attention.



2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times,
without any exceptions. If you even look at the remote
control, you will lose it (your eye).



3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't
mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting
me.



4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require
a refill of my drink or something to eat. If you expect me to listen to you, open the door,

answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor, It won't happen.



5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in
the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on
(except your body parts )and please do not make any funny faces to
my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will
be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good
game that I missed during the day.



6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my
team is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't
worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only
make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever
know more about football than me.



7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk
to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if
the half time scores is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am
saying "one" game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy
excuse to "spend time together".



8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I
have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again, Many
times.



9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child
related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.



10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to
watch a game, we will be there in a flash.



11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but
you have already seen this, why don't you change the channel to
something we can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule
#2 of this list".



12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the
World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because
before and after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Super
14, Spanish League, KPL, Grand Prix, Tri Nations, etc.



P/S



By the way if you get stuck on the road call 911 or AA.



Thank you for your anticipated cooperation.



PS:
Sent by Tolu Oladipo.

What Headache? Adam & Eve Survey Reveals Stress Is #1 Reason Adults Aren't Enjoying SEX!

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